Get the fuck off my website

Hello everyone. Welcome to my website.

I am the biggest psychopathic serial killer you ever will find. I like nothing more than cutting slits in kneecaps and fucking them. I spend most of my leisure time in the cubicles of girls’ toilets, listening to them shitting and pissing while I silently masturbate.

If anyone fucks with me, young or old, male or female, though, I fuck them up. Fuck everyone except for me. I look out for number one, and if number one’s fun is being impinged on by any other motherfucker, then that motherfucker needs to get taken out. I’ve got so many kills under my belt it’s unreal.

But kills under belts don’t even compare to shits on faces.

I wonder if there’s something fucked up with me, perhaps; I wonder if I should cut down on my bizarre fetishism and murder, whether one day I’ll start to be a real menace to society. But I don’t think so. I’m normally harmless enough. Most of my friends think I’m a totally nice normal guy; they think that these stories are just pisstakes and that I would never commit any acts like this in real life. What fools. They better watch their backs, and their girlfriends’ knickers, because I don’t fuck about.

I keep it big pimping style, motherfuckers. And if keeping it big pimping necessitates fucking bitches up and indulging in every disgusting sex act under the sun, all the time, then that’s what fucking big pimps have, so fuck you in the fucking face.

Actually, I’m just fucking with you. I hope you enjoy my stories.

P.S. The nicest thing you can possibly do for me is link this site all over the internet. I see you people copy-pasting my Cinderella story on your own blogs with not so much as a link back here. You don’t wanna fuck with me, whiteboy.

Explore posts in the same categories: Stories

33 Comments on “Get the fuck off my website”

  1. Xevious Says:

    I thoroughly enjoyed your entertaining literature.

  2. corey (tendollarsuckysucky) Says:

    dude i can’t believe much better your stories got since the last time i saw one on newgrounds. are you ever gonna make that book because i would by it. the jew story was the best dude.

  3. Zach (TheNotorious) Says:

    I read around 5 of your stories so far and have no clue why you wouldn’t publish any of these. They’re funny and at times saw myself as the narrartor in many of the stories.

    It’s way more entertaining then any of the shit I have to read. Most books end like a Roald Dahl book, happy fucking endings. I think my generation would learn a whole lot more if we read some literature like yours. But no, society has to pretend that the youth doesn’t know what a clit is before they learn their times tables.

    I wish you could make a book so I could read your writings on my free time.

  4. andrew Says:

    Hahaha sweet site dude some funny as ass kicking stories, not sure about the beastiality but its up to you. Shoot those mother fucking crack dealers.

  5. zach A. Says:

    Yeah dude.
    The government… Fucking 60 year old motherfuckers thinking they know whats going on, and whats best.
    and how its REGULAR people who are above us all.
    They set theyre views, expressions, and ideals on everything, and turn it into a SHIT law.

  6. KAM Says:

    hey dude, ure shit is funny! i miss u man

  7. Boy George Says:

    Oh wait. Yes, I have. I’m sorry, but I just don’t have it in me right now to type it all out again. Besides, it was just ramblings anyway. You didn’t want to hear me go on and on about this, right?

  8. Rachel Says:

    I fucking love your sick and twisted stories. Your dick is 1.5 feet long.

  9. Frost Says:

    Your stories are very entertaining. The taboo quality only makes them more appealing out of one’s natural association with the narrator of the stories or absolute dissociation with all contents of the stories.

    Truthfully, I don’t think breaching standards that everybody always twists to their liking, turn their back on and/or pick-and-choose which to follow called for the repercussions you faced for authoring your stories. They are darkly amusing and in some cases humorous.

  10. Flaming ninja Says:

    That cinderella story was fucking hilarious!

  11. Manontherun Says:

    :0 that was odd. I dont understand why you would bother to type all that, altho i was enjoying it and getting a good laugh out of it at the end, umm cuddos?

  12. Kurt Says:

    Kevin, I think we should have children.

    We’re both in the manchester area so I suppose it’s a great possibility.

  13. Andrea Says:

    yay! thnx for the link T AMO niƱo! it’s been a while since i encountered such interesting character as you =D luv u!

  14. Sid Says:

    This site is totally wIcKeD!!!
    Man, U got balls… just hoping da endings get a bit more kick ass, u kno! Meaning, for the articles like ‘amnesia’… things end too fast, makin me wish for a li’l more.
    Keep it up! I was on da look out for stuffz that swing between gothic & hillarious. Thx, tc.

  15. Bob Says:

    ur a sicko!! u have bad problems in ur head!!! wot person rites things like tht?

  16. :) Says:

    I like them but omfg,theyre sick. You are twisted! No offence…..especially babysitting disaster and I love you,baby.

  17. Darling Angel Says:

    i thoroughly enjoyed snow white your writing is so concise its impressive the stories you’ve written in first person when you obviously have no real experience of the situations…i mean of course having amnesia for example…i know you aren’t a virgin although i hope you haven’t sucked cock

  18. tdobbin NG Says:

    Hi, Awsome fucking stories, Keep up the good work. Also never trust anyone >: )

  19. Me Says:

    #

    15 Bob | December 27th, 2007 at 3:13 am

    ur a sicko!! u have bad problems in ur head!!! wot person rites things like tht?

    He might be sick and have bad problems in his head, but he’s a genious and know how to write, witch you don’t.

  20. Adio Says:

    Dude…

  21. 42 Says:

    Awesome man. Im glad to hear it! Keep up the good work and make sure you dont get a lethal STD from one of your rape victims. That would suck.

  22. Lavabottle Says:

    You’re unhinged. There is no hope for degenerates like you. Please, I beg you, keep your mindless, animalistic drivel limited to your electronic persona.

    God know we’ve already got enough psychos running around.

  23. earfetish Says:

    If anyone’s interested, the FagLord pussy above, ‘Lavabottle,’ actually used a proxy site (hidemyass.com) to insult me over the internet. Because he knows full well that if he used his real IP I would track him down and fuck him in the neckhole.

  24. Jesus "Where the fuck did you get the H from?" Christ Says:

    Epic site man. Just plain epics.

  25. Darknessium Says:

    First comment in years, w00t!

    I love your stories btw.

  26. Ryno Says:

    Awesome, 2 thumbs up. Way up. (Yer ass…(just j/k))

  27. Arifriekinel Says:

    <3

  28. cass Says:

    It doesn’t matter whether you think this is funny or real, it’s boring, really. I’ll pray that you find something more worthwhile to do with your time – like save starving children or something. God put you on Earth for a reason – and somehow I don’t think this was it. Don’t be foolish, quit this boring thing and make yourself useful.

  29. earfetish Says:

    Cass’ response is perhaps the funniest thing I have ever read

  30. Quake Says:

    Your stories are fucking awesome man, you should really publish these in a big vile anthology!

  31. XRumerTest Says:

    Hello. And Bye.

  32. Viktoria Says:

    Awesome site and brilliant stories! Thanks for brightening my mugging session! :)

  33. nigganigga Says:

    Thanx bro, your stories fucking rule.

    Fuck the haters.

    Live free.

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